Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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