I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
