I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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