): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
