He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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