and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
