If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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