This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
