How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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