Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
