In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
