All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
