even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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