im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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