I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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