this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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