it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
