nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
