woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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