"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
