shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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