Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
