my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Alive.
So much puke
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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