me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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