Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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