i need an iv and a liver transplant
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
