i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
