I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize