make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
