You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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