I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize