No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
