she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize