i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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