he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
