so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize