We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
