Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
