just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
