Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
