I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
