I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
