My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
