How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
do herpes really smell.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
