god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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