just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
