We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
