Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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