did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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