let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
