i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
