we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I still have a little drunk in my system
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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