GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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