I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
