I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
