What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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