it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
