I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
