well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
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