My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
