I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
two words: eviction party
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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