Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
