i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize