Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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