Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
