doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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