Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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